I would like to tell you that, like the Prophet Isaiah, I have eagerly embraced each calling I have sensed from God. When the LORD asked, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?”, Isaiah answered, “Here I am. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8 NLT) But my response to the Spirit’s urgings tends to be a lot more like Moses when God spoke to him from the burning bush. God lays out the plight of His people under slavery to the Egyptians and commissions Moses to go to Pharaoh to demand their release. Moses’s first response is to protest to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11) God assures Moses of His presence and gives him the plan and even the outcome, but Moses protests yet again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me?” (Exodus 4:1) God remains patient with Moses, once again reassuring him of His presence and provision for the task. And, you guessed it, Moses protests a third time, this time pleading with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” (Exodus 4:10)
So far Moses has had his eyes on his own weaknesses, and how he might fail this assignment. And frankly, I’m not even convinced that he really thought he was a poor public speaker given what we learn about him in Acts 7:20-22: “At that time Moses was born—a beautiful child in God’s eyes. His parents cared for him at home for three months. When they had to abandon him, Pharaoh’s daughter adopted him and raised him as her own son. Moses was taught all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was powerful in both speech and action.”
I get how paralyzing fear of failure can be, and how easy it is to resort to offering God excuses for resisting His call. But back to Moses (and forgive my perhaps twisted sense of humor, but I do find the rest of this story to have some high comedy.) God reminds Moses that it was He who made his mouth, that He will go with him and instruct him in what to say. Does Moses finally go? NOOOOOO! Out of excuses, Moses just pleads, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” (Exodus 4:13)
I may not have put it exactly that way, but I do certainly relate to his hesitancy. My preferred mode of action is to maximize comfort and minimize risk. I have had to be pulled along by God all the way through my work in this mentoring ministry, from writing and re-writing the curriculum, to publishing the book I never intended to publish, and to having a website and blog I never imagined having. It feels scary to me, but also right for me to accept this challenge.
To wrap up the Moses account, yes; he does finally go, after God offers to send his brother Aaron to be his spokesman. And you would think it would be smooth sailing for Moses after his belated submission and obedience. But, not so, and this just is funny to me. So, Moses takes off for Egypt. Scripture picks up here at Exodus 4:24. “On the way to Egypt, at a place where Moses and his family had stopped for the night, the LORD confronted him and was about to kill him.” Really, God? After all that prodding, kill him? God was angry at Moses for having neglected to circumcise his son, but his wife, Zipporah, intervened to appease God’s command and Moses was spared.
At the end of the story, Moses does accomplish the task of getting pharaoh to free God’s people, but not without some bumps and bruises and some personal failures along the way. My journey in this Ornaments of Grace ministry has produced a few of the same for me, but also much opportunity for personal growth and countless blessings from working with other mentors and the beautiful young women who have participated. Could God be calling you to be a leader of an Ornaments class? If so, will you be an Isaiah?