Why are older women often reluctant to wear the epithet of “mentor”? It’s the primary ministry work which has captured my heart, and yet I feel a little uncomfortable with it. We know God tells us in Titus 2 that it is His plan for older women to “teach what is good, and so train the young women”. After some pondering, here’s where the dissonance lies, at least from my perspective.
First, we do not feel “worthy” of the title, as we are all too aware of our own short-comings and failure-- and not just of those in our past, but even in our present. I’ve already dealt with this aspect of our reluctance in my blog of July 22, 2018, “The Reluctant Blogger” and how God uses imperfect people to further His Kingdom. Our worthiness is imparted by our union with Christ, not our maintaining a favorable position on our performance balance sheet. God uses both our strengths and our weaknesses, our accomplishments and our failures, to help us disciple younger women from a place of humility and vulnerability.
Second, we know how often we are on the receiving end in our mentoring relationships with younger women. I can honestly say that each time I lead another Ornaments of Grace class, I learn innovative ideas and perspectives which challenge me to stretch myself. If Fred is patient enough to stick with me, he may very well have a regular Proverbs 31 wife by the time we celebrate our 50th anniversary!
At the risk of some certain omissions, let me express my gratitude for these younger women with whom I have enjoyed a relationship of Mutual Mentoring:
Jill – for the tremendous strength and faith she has demonstrated through the last few years of health crises. She embodies long-suffering in a God-honoring way, which includes a willingness to remain very vulnerable in sharing the heights and depths of her physical, emotional, and spiritual journey.
Stacie – for the childlike faith and trust in Jesus she has exhibited through her many year struggle with a serious health condition in all its manifestations of suffering and extreme fatigue. Whatever evils have befallen her have only driven her closer to her beloved LORD.
Carlie – for her excellent household management and creative intimacy in her marriage, a real
W-0-M-A-N!
Emily – for creating a beautiful home and lovely, interesting tablescapes, even when on a strict budget.
Tara – for spreading her contagious joy and extraordinary encouragement everywhere she goes.
Meredith – for her wizardry in maintaining a simplified, yet warm and beautiful home. (Her closets are amazingly neat and lovely.) Her priorities allow her the time and emotional freedom to be a super fun wife and mom too!
In addition to these real-life relationships, I have some young podcast mentors who have shared some real wisdom (e.g. Allie Casazza’s for “moms who want to leave a legacy of intention and joy”, and Jody Moore’s “Better Than Happy” life-coaching).
So maybe we’ll be a bit more comfortable calling ourselves “Mutual Mentors”, a rose by any other name . . .